Do Men Prefer Demure,Shy Women or Transparently Authentic Ones?

In the world of the “Seasoned Singles”, not only is the selection of male partners far from numerous, but it makes a woman wonder, are most men attracted to the demure, shy type gal or one who is authentically transparent?

Somewhere....out there....

Of course these comments are coming from a female perspective and should be taken with a “grain of salt” remember. But it seems to me most women I have met that are “seasoned” and also available either divorced or a widow, ponder the same question.

You see, for the most part, women are the organizers and coordinators within the family structure, the one who keeps all things running well, no conflicting schedules with her mate or with their children, she has the innate ability to multi-task at a moments notice. To re-arrange plans and schedules and at the same time be making mental notes of the to do notes for the week to follow. It’s amazing. Maybe that’s why God really created Eve, huh? To be Adam’s “domestic engineer” a phrase often quoted with bragging rights in today’s society.

Once the woman is alone, she has to pick up all the slack, well actually guys do too…..there is no longer anyone to share the weekly chores and duties, no other income to add to the coffers to pad the lifestyle and enable either of them to just plain do things to enjoy life, belts have to be tightened and rightfully so.

It seems within a 2-3 year period of mourning or recovery the man in the equation is ready to try again and utilizes most of his brain cells in hot pursuit of the “hottest looking babe”. The separation process from the opposite sex has already implemented a huge weight control program, “divorce dieting” where pounds seem to effortlessly slip away, bodies become more toned due to an increase in walking and exercise to remove stress and because there is not a whole lot to really do, they subconsciously miss their other half, perhaps. They must think ahead and plan, something that is not inborn in their species, they are the protectors, the providers, the hunters.

Before you know it the male species has connected with a female. Perhaps a rebound relationship or maybe one of desperation or boredom or out of laziness, not wanting to do “everything” anymore.

And the females, the majority, keep on keeping on…..they shoulder more responsibilities, have to handle more survival costs, look for additional jobs because it is a statistic women are paid 73% less then men, it’s a huge adjustment to be made on both sides. During the process, the female builds her own interests which she never knew she had for years and discovers she can be quite self reliant, independent.She relishes the fact she can trash her home for a week, spend part of one day bringing it up to snuff, eat what she wants, when she wants, doesn’t need to seek approval before making plans…..and soon, she is independent for the first time in her life, and loving it!

Or…..is she? In her heart of hearts the being that has been the nurturer, the giver of care, the organizer finds her self adjusting quite well to her alone time but suffering beyond description at the “loneliness” stirring inside her. She misses affection, cuddling, road trips, companionship, communication with the sex with often the opposite view. She misses the little things flowers just because, little surprises and trips planned together. She misses having someone to make homemade chicken soup for and to wait on when they’re ill. She begins to realize her “love tank” is operating on less then a quarter tank, she wants more, she needs more, she needs someone to listen…..to hold her…..to be supportive of her dreams and goals.…someone to “bounce creative ideas off” or cook a new recipe for. She craves the good feelings that come with being part of a couple.

In reflection, the relationship previously might not have been that great, but there was one….between a man and a woman….between two. Now there is only the solitary companionship in her life, unless she has a cat or a dog.

So………she also begins her search for “Mr. Right”….hoping their paths will cross, believing he will drop into her lap from out of the blue, like in the movies,(remember “Sleepless in Seattle” or “While You Were Sleeping”.…great chick flicks)……she waits, she works, she transforms who she was into who she is becoming with the same emptiness she felt within the previous relationship. She learns. And she begins to try again.

She ponders, researches, accumulates shelves of self help books on finding the real you or the love of your life and begins to venture out in the world. Scared silly, wondering if she will be able to determine if there are “red flags” let alone what to do if she sees one or more. She has to determine whether she wants to continue to be who she has become, who’s she’s blossomed into like a gently opening flower full of authenticity and humor and a zest for living life, with her ideas and emotions so ever transparent. Or does she want to claim the demure, shy role of needing to be rescued by Prince Charming on his white stallion, the role of not being able to care for herself or worse play the part of the “gold digger” who’s only passion tends to be accumulating stuff and financial gain?

So again I pose the question, which kind of women I just described are the most desired by the available male species and why? Now guys, you’ll have to give up your “box couch seats at the ballgame” and turn the TV off and actually think about this…..We seasoned women value and need your input.

It’s not that we want to become someone we are not, it’s that we need to know what you find most desirable so we can choose to add a particular form of behavior or thinking to our repertoire, resume of “must have qualities” in this “seasoned singles competition” many of us will become engaged in.

It’s easier to set our sights, I mean goals….ahem, if we know the men on the planet well enough to present ourselves in the best light possible. At least it might give us an edge so to speak among the fierce competition we face out there. Is one characteristic more desirable then another? In the “game of life” and of “love” the better equipped a female is to access her competitors, the more her self esteem is enhanced and the more desirable she will become. So help us out here guys, which is more attractive to you, Demure Debra or Authentic Amelia?

Remember the goal of both sexes, to NOT repeat the problems of the last relationship, but to have learned from them and welcome the opportunity of experiencing entirely new, and different ones. Ready fellas? Let’s get those ideas flowing through your keystrokes and lend your perspective to our world for a change, some of us need all the encouragement, and support we can get. Are you willing to help us out here as we are so willing to do for you?

Use the comment box…..ready, set…..type!!!!!!!